Emotion
by Masked Vendetta
Summary: Life can get on top of all of us. No one is exempt. Not even Zhou Yu. Zhou Yu, however, has one best friend to be his warm duvet and box of chocolates. Mild SCXZY fluffy one-shot.


Disclaimer: I'm not that lucky. Really, I love these two so much, but that doesn't amount to ownership. Annoyingly...!!

I needed to write something. HAD to. And since Koei made these guys so purty, they are constantly on my brain - thus I decided to use/abuse them.

Enjoy!

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Zhou Yu was one of those guys who got everything right. He was the envy of fellow students that struggled to balance work and play, who always laughed that they wished they could be as gifted as he, cheering as they followed their next pub crawl which would end them failing tomorrows assignment. Zhou Yu was the sort of person who was blessed with a mindset that got things done seemingly effortlessly, but he didn't count himself as lucky – didn't believe in luck or fortune, for that matter.

He was the law classes 'prodigy' – quotation marks necessary. When Zhuge Liang spoke that weighted pet name it didn't sound glamorous or praising or even _good_, just foreboding laced with the poison of a silver tongue. Ultimately, it meant Zhuge Liang was in one of his cynical, eye-piercing moods that would mean Zhou Yu would be answering a lot of impossible questions today.

The Prodigy was also the friend of one of the most popular first-years, and, with his good looks and Sun Ce's charm and megaphone-mouth often following each other around as the best friends always had, he was often the centre of attention.

Problem being: He did not want to be the centre of attention. He couldn't _work_ when there were eyes everywhere.

Zhou Yu wasn't as gifted as everyone thought – not to say he _wasn't_ at all, he just wasn't the Super Perfect Genius that everyone presumed he was. He had a knack of keeping a cool head, sure, and that helped immensely while verbally dragging Zhuge Liang down more than a few notches, but a calm demeanour didn't mean information went in one ear and stayed there, or that perfect score essays simply flowed from his fingertips again and again. He may look as though he was taking it all in, but he was human – a fact he sometimes despised – and humans get distracted, get confused, don't always understand everything the first time round.

Admittedly, the nearly-not-a-teen may not have to work as hard as others – because he was 'a bit of a genius', as Sun Ce would say – but that didn't mean he had the talent of a photographic mind or a pen that pulled ideas from thin air every single day.

Sometimes, he couldn't keep up. No matter the amount of time he spent locked up in his room studying, practicing, writing, it never seemed enough when Zhuge Liang was constantly pinpointing him with more work because of an unreasonable grudge – and that coming from a Law teacher, ha!

Also, there was Sun Ce to consider. The pair had known each other for years longer than they could truly remember, and so neither was bothered by the others quirks anymore. Much, anyway. What was troubling Zhou Yu was the shear dependency. It wasn't a problem, as such, but it was another thing on the list of routines that took up more time that he didn't have.

He was blessed with looks, with a family who supported him via cheques, with a way with words and a natural talent that made others pale. But that would help no one in the scale of things when your stoic, irritable teacher had it in for you; when you're best friend, a new-found partier (not a problem, really, Zhou Yu would never hold Sun Ce back unless he thought it was a truly, truly stupid idea) came home late nearly every night; when you were a light sleeper and when that sleep was made lighter by worry and stress over the work load on you desk; when the years leading up to University had been a breeze now calmed; when University was suddenly so far from home (rather, Sun Jian's large house); when, as you lay trying to think of nothing below your duvet, all you could think of were Zhuge Liang's last laughed words as you'd left the room today: 'Useless'.

Admittedly, deep down, you knew he was talking about someone else, and that you shouldn't have heard it anyway, the whisper that it was. But you were the one that heard it, and so it haunts you. Makes you wonder…

Am I…?

Two essays for tomorrow. Useless. And Ce wanted help with one of his as well, something about muscles and distance. We're running low on cash, fridge is empty. Useless. Can't even keep a check on numbers.

Downstairs…it's bright. Ling Tongs got the TV on too loud. Useless. I'm so tired. I can't figure out the answer to the last question of-–Useless.

Zhuge Liang…he…Useless. Useless. Can't- I can't-

Useless. I…!

What the hell is wrong with me?!

Useless. Useless, useless Useless!

Zhou Yu was the poster boy of first year Law. He was smart, good looking, had perfect composure. His work was astounding, always in on time, always complete and legible and sensible – if the case they were working on was real, he would have won it hands down. He was popular by default of knowing Sun Ce, and so eyes followed him everywhere.

And he'd never been under so much pressure in his life, and it's a strange thing, pressure, stress.

Useless.

''Oi Tong. You're still up? What the hell soap is on at this hour?''

''One's you wouldn't like.'' You could almost hear Ling Tong frown and scrunch up his nose in disgust. ''You stink of alcohol. And sick.''

''Yeah well, Ning decided he didn't like rum as much as he thought.''

''Hmm?''

There was a thundering as Sun Ce charged up the stairs, trying to go as quietly as he could but not succeeding in the slightest with bottles of spirit in his veins. He tiptoed across the landing a bit slower, which, as well as making him quieter, also gave Zhou Yu time to rub his face, bury it in his pillow and pretend to be asleep.

''Yu?'' His voice was tentative now, as if there was a sound barrier on the stairs that meant his near-cheering at Ling Tong before couldn't be heard from the apartment above. ''You awake?'' It was dark, so the prodigy didn't have to even his breathing much – he was just a lump of dark against a dark bed in a dark corner of a room. He didn't give an answer either.

''Yu!'' Slightly louder, this time. Sun Ce was persistent, if nothing else. And brash at the worst of times.

''Yes, Ce?'' He hoped his voice sounded sleep crocked, not…clogged with tears. D…damnit, why? He was meant to be strong. Meant to be the level headed, calm one. Why couldn't he handle this!?

Useless. You're–-I'm Useless.

''Knew you'd still be up! Can I switch the light on? I've got damage control to do.'' He did it anyway, without listening for an answer. It wasn't that he was a totally ignorant fool that constantly went around waking people up and blinding them (unlike Gan Ning, or Ling Tong when he was in a foul mood), it was just that Zhou Yu had never said no before, never had a reason to. In Sun Ce's eyes, there was no problem.

Why tonight?

The prodigy still had his face plastered into his pillow when Sun Ce gave a groan of annoyance mixed with revulsion.

''I liked this shirt better when it didn't have Ning intestines all over it. Should in just burn it, you think?'' Zhou Yu couldn't see the supposed damage splattered all over his friends shirt – wouldn't have wanted to at the best of times, if he was perfectly honest. Which he was. – and so he didn't see Sun Ce look up from his grimace with restrained concern. Surely his best buddy of forever had something to say about his appearance?

_You're disgusting, Ce. Take it off right now and god forbid the next time I see that smarmy Gan Ning._

_Ce! What have you been doing?! You…what's that smell? That does _not_ smell like alcohol!_

_You seem to have acquired some tattoos, Ce. Sharpie? Well, that's good…I doubt your dad would like to see his son turn into a lesser version of our good friend Ning the Pirate._

Zhou Yu had been slipping, and he knew it. Letting Sun Ce even talk to Gan Ning had been a bad idea in the first place, but to let the pair frequently cause chaos all over town was entirely a worse idea. _His_ bad idea, truthfully, since it was he that had always looked out for Ce, kept him in line, made sure he was safe. He didn't understand why he did it; he just always had, ever since they were small.

But he just didn't have time to constantly look out for his friend anymore. Gan Ning was a far from great substitute, but if he kept Sun Ce happy and out of Zhou Yu's way (and the most dangerous forms of trouble) then the prodigy could work and think and try to keep up. Even if the lonely feeling niggled at him.

Except, there was a problem: even that didn't work. There just weren't enough hours in a day, days in a week, Sun Ce or no Sun Ce. It was driving him either insane or riddling him with tension and stress, both. He tried to keep it together, had been doing ok so far, but that Zhuge Liang would always have a retort, always say _'Could be better', 'Should be better', 'Are you slipping, Zhou Yu?'._

He was. He should be reprimanding Sun Ce right now, like he normally did. He…but he just didn't have it in him.

Useless. Ha! What has become of me? Useless fool-!

''Hey, Yu?'' And Sun Ce knew it too. Knew what an idiot his friend was. Knew that he was only fooling himself. Top class Lawyer? Yeah right, that'll never happen if you can't even handle this! Deal with it, 'prodigy'. Who needs sleep, you've got to work, work, work. Perfect. Perfect Prodigy. Are you slipping, Zhou-

''Yu?! Why are you hiding from me?'' Sun Ce carefully peeled his shirt from his shoulders, ick-ing and eww-ing quietly as he did. When finished, he grinned and sauntered over to his best friend's bed, a precision prod aimed at Zhou Yu's shoulder. ''Did you fall asleep at your desk again? Has Tong given you a permanent marker moustache like last time? Ha!''

He better answer, else it'll only get worse, more suspicion. Say something, at least: ''…Leave…me alone, Ce.''

Slipping. The last time Zhou Yu had said anything like that, to Sun Ce - yelled it, really - they'd ended up in a brawl that left them bruised for weeks. They'd been thirteen and hormone riddled and had promised to never do it again. Neither of them, more importantly, had been huddled up in bed talking more to a pillow than his best friend.

At the words, something clicked inside Sun Ce's head, and instantly his cheerful grin was gone. The emotion that fixed his lips and frown afterwards was worry and concern and fear all mixed into one.

''Yu?'' A tentative shake of a shoulder that barely budged so wrought with nerves and tension as it was. ''No, seriously, Yu. What's up?''

Apparently there was a cost of being human. You can't just look like perfection and talk like a genius and keep a calm head and visage like a marble statue forever without setbacks and payments. To be human is to have emotion, have passion, have anomalies that a logical thinker such as our Prodigy cannot fathom or analyse.

No human can bottle an ocean. Waves and waves can crash against a shore, wearing down the rocks to stones to gravel, but eventually they'll be washed out into the storm of the sea and you'll have to succumb to the torrent. Let it out of you're grip or be dragged with it.

Zhou Yu sobbed.

There had only been quiet tears earlier, ones which puzzled him at first, made him blink in confusion, but then began to flow more and more down his cheeks and onto his pillow. Now his shoulders quivered, his throat clogged, and he couldn't force it down.

Sun Ce was caught in the metaphorical headlights for all of a second – this was new and confusing and strange and it--what--what was he meant to do? – before he was crouched by the side of the bed, trying to find a way into the soul of his friend.

In a voice he'd never used before, a shushed, assuring tone: ''Yu!'' The man nudged an insistent hand against a rigid shoulder. All he could think of was seeing his friends face, figuring out why he was hiding it in a pillow and a waterfall of waving hair. (That should have been a signal; Zhou Yu always braiding his hair before he went to bed… Damnit!)

''…don't…'' It was muffled, by the pillow and a sniff as another sob tried to force its way from his reluctant friend's body.

''I will. You know I will.'' That was most definitely certain, but it wasn't a certainty that Zhou Yu wanted right now. He didn't want his friend's reliable smile; he wanted to be on his own. So no one would hear him.

And at the same time, he so much wanted to be somewhere warm and safe so he didn't feel so much of a fool concealing his sobs from the man crouching beside him. And what was worse, he didn't understand _why_.

''What's wrong?''

_I'm useless_.

''It's nothing…Ce. Really.''

''You're crying. I can tell. You're trying to hide it but you're crying. What's wrong, Yu?!'' The Sun heir was pushing his shoulder again, and pushing his pillow, his barrier, down and out the way at the same time. Zhou Yu didn't have the energy to fight, just found dark eyes and glared at them.

It did nothing. Sun Ce was rarely affected by his steely eyes and they weren't even threatening now, he was sure. Not when he was crying like some weak little-

''Oh god, Yu!'' No need to hide his face now; his friends chest was his new pillow, entirely against his will. Pushing away seemed fruitless when suddenly everything felt so weak and Sun Ce was so goddamn strong – he was the athlete, after all, he didn't work at desks or write from his mind, he worked on instinct and ran for miles.

''Why? Why are you…? Damn, it's that Zhuge Liang, isn't it? Or Ning…? You know he doesn't mean anything he says – he's drunk half the time!''

For some reason, suddenly being enveloped by darkness on all sides triggered something in the Law Student. And not in a good way. It turned off his restraint in an instant and he gasped as suddenly he couldn't even hope to hold the sniffs streaming from his nose, the quivering of his chest as sods rose unbidden.

Damnit. SO useless. Why am I--?

Sun Ce clenched him tighter, which muffled the noise at least. He didn't want Ling Tong hearing this, seeing this. Sun Ce was bad enough. Too bad, in fact. He shouldn't see this. Wouldn't see him so…weak and stupid and _useless_.

''Get—get off!''

''Wha-?'' He'd been in an awkward position before, but now Sun Ce was even more uncomfortable sprawled on the floor, gawking up at his friend in surprise. ''You…pushed me?!''

''Yes-!'' Zhou Yu snarled, ignoring the tears that flew from his eyes as he sat up and swung an arm out to block Sun Ce as he rose again. ''Leave me alone!'' An injured animal, the prodigy thought. I've reduced myself to threatening the one I'm supposed to trust. The one I'm supposed to be strong for. I really am-

''Like hell!'' Sun Ce didn't look concerned anymore, he looked insulted. He has every reason to be, Zhou Yu's mind brought the sentence swiftly to the fore. Having a friend like you to protect his back. Ha! How pitiful he must feel now, knowing that he held you so high before?!

''Shut up!'' Sun Ce's frown deepened, and he shook his head in a way that made his pony tail whip and lash. Even if the words had not been intended for him, it didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

This unusual pair were known for their stubbornness.

''I am not being quiet until you tell me what's wrong?!''

''There is nothing wrong, Ce!''

The laugh wasn't a happy one: ''Suuure, Yu. Have those tears made you so blind you can't see that this is not normal for you?! What happened?!''

Blind too, now? Blind and stupid and—

You want to know what's wrong Ce?! I can't cope with this! I can't cope with all this work, all this effort to make everything perfect, only to be told I've done it wrong, that nothing is ever good enough. I can't put up with Zhuge Liang's smile anymore; it make's me wretch. I can't deal with you coming home so late all the time, even though I know you'll come home because you always do. I can't keep staying up until I hear the door open and you insult Tong. I need sleep. I need rest. I need to relax and—

''Nothing. Happened.'' Was what he said outwardly, snarled, almost, as Zhuge Liang laughed in his head and the nights of little sleep and the stress in his muscles clenched as another sob decided to make itself known.

There was silence then. Ling Tong must have turned off his stupid drama and gone to bed. There was only quiet, and the breath of Sun Ce waiting for the inevitable.

For Zhou Yu to come to his senses.

''Yu?'' The calm voice did it. The slightly wary, quiet murmur reduced the proud, top-mark student to a crumpled mess across his duvet as his mind became unable to think of anything but

useless.

Strong arms were around him almost instantly – apparently the pair's stubbornness was not to be pushed to limits and beyond tonight. There would be no grudges, no tentative make-up jibes and jokes at breakfast, or convenient avoidances for days to come.

''Yu.'' It wasn't even a question anymore, only a calming familiar as arms tightened and Zhou Yu felt breath down the back of his neck as Sun Ce's head found its place on his shoulder. It must have hurt, twisting around like that from the floor. He thought it absently as his tears kept streaming, making his loose hair sodden and his eyes puffy and red.

''You know, this is strange.'' Sun Ce spoke against his neck. He only hopped these wrenching sobs weren't bumping his friends nose. ''I thought it was only me who dived in a bit too deep.'' Zhou Yu forced down a sob long enough to banish the mocking voice chiding him in his head, and also to choke out:

''I…as well…''

''ha! Shh, ok. Just…cry, I guess. I shouldn't get cramp for long.'' Back was the normal Sun Ce, the kind carrying one who could adapt to such strange things as this. Who could deal with this. Who, although he didn't know when to stop, didn't know when to let go of the mass of ocean he was trying to tame, did know when to let off steam. And tell people what he was feeling.

God, he was such a fool. He'd let it all get on top of him, let it all wash him away. He was too busy trying to make everything perfect, too busy trying to make a fool out of Zhuge Liang, hell, too busy hating Gan Ning and his brashness, that he'd forgotten to rain check and sort out his own emotions. They were something he'd never been good at – he was for logical thought, for evidence and could hard fact, not ethereal things with no substance – but he was human. He was human and could be overwhelmed without even knowing it himself.

''You a bit better?'' Said the lips against his neck as they nuzzled and turned to meet his undoubtedly blank and waterlogged eyes. He sobbed once, and nodded. Sun Ce raised an eyebrow, and went back to tightening his arms about his friend's shoulders and pressing his face against the not so tense neck between. He felt Zhou Yu do the same, reluctantly.

''See? It's not so bad, yeah? You get free hugs this way. Not that I'd ever change you, or anything it's just… Hell, I don't know where that was going.'' Zhou Yu just nodded, sniffing a little again and squeezing his eyes to clear his vision. Across the room he saw his desk, and promptly his eyes were shut.

Minutes passed – minutes that were too long for the Prodigy's liking. There shouldn't have been seconds to pass, there should have been no reason for anything to pass at all, not in this state – before Zhou Yu's sobs ceased into occasional hiccups and he'd all but gone limp in Sun Ce's steady grip. He was so tired, really. It was amazing what emotion could do to a person.

''Right, then.'' A cue as Sun Ce pulled back slightly, and Zhou Yu had to get his muscles working again to lift himself up fully. ''A bit better?'' Not '_Are you ok'_ or _'What's wrong'_? He'd learned from earlier that those were bad phrases to use.

In his current state of mind, the Zhou Prodigy had to take a moment to decide even to shrug. Sun Ce just sighed in return, placing hands back on shoulder as if to steady his friend. He gave a crooked smile as he looked at red streaked cheeks and watery eyes still gleaming in the light. On impulse, that crooked smile turned into a full blown one, and Zhou Yu was jolted as the tears on his cheeks were covered with a kiss.

''You know, Yu?'' Sun Ce, totally unaffected, by his impulsive action or by the shock now in his friend's eyes – goodbye sobs, anyway – just grinned. ''I really wish you weren't so damn beautiful all the time. I wish you were happy all the time, of course, but…you're human, right?'' Dumbfounded, the other nodded. ''So don't get angry about it. Tell me if something's up. I'll listen, 'kay?''

''You…kissed me…?'' Sun Ce glanced to his right, bit his lip and suddenly regretted being so spontaneous. His hands dropped from Zhou Yu's arms.

''Ha! Erm…bad timing, I know but…err.'' He scratched his head, turned back to meet the golden gaze of his best friend and smiled. ''Whenever I feel down – as goddamn girly as this sounds, Shang would laugh! - all I want is a warm blanket, a load of chocolate, and someone to cuddle, or to cuddle me. And, yeah, I know you're not like me but…well, I figure I may as just try?''

''But…'' Zhou Yu wasn't a master of emotion. This evening had proved that enough. He rubbed absently at his face as a reminder, watched one-eyed as Sun Ce grinned again, his cheeks darkening slightly.

''…yeah, well. Mind if I carry on hugging you a while longer?'' Despite himself, Zhou Yu quirked his lips for the briefest of moments. _Idiot_…

''I'd be better off on my own…I think…''

''That so?'' Sun Ce's knees cracked as he rose, and he looked down at his friend with a knowing glint in his eyes that the logic in Zhou Yu couldn't comprehend. ''Mind if I do it for me, then?''

What do you mean? You can't-! Zhou Yu's mind thought all at once, his features torn between a frown and wide-eyed shock, as clashes of memories and moments spun through his muddle mind: Sun Ce falling asleep on the bus with his head on Zhou Yu's shoulder; Sun Ce making a den when they were teenagers with only enough room for two and no Quan's, Shang's or Dad's allowed; Sun Ce adamantly going to the same college as Zhou Yu, the same University, working working working to get the grades; Sun Ce always insisting in keeping him company, always there, now and since forever...

_You…do, don't you?_

''Don't look at me like that. I'll tell you a funny story, actually.'' Sun Ce said, absently scratching at his bare stomach without even a care. ''You're ok for me to gabble on, right?'' A moments pause gave Zhou Yu the time to rub his eyes again, and nod. It would give himself time to dry his eyes and try and figure out why this wasn't surprising, anyway.

''I can only apologise. I didn't expect to get…so distraught.''

''No no no! Don't you dare apologise for this!'' The older man half-yelled, rushing forward to grip shoulders again. They tensed at the touch, but that was Sun Ce's fault for being so forward. ''urgh…The story?''

''…Yes.''

''There's always been rumours about us, you know.'' There has? Zhou Yu wondered, leaning on his arms and fiddling with the duvet near his side absently. It wasn't a nervous habit he'd ever noticed before. But then again, he hadn't noticed these supposed rumours either, so maybe he wasn't as perceptive as he, and everyone else, thought?

Maybe that was why he hadn't noticed Sun Ce before? The things Sun Ce did, the way he reacted – or didn't, more to the point, even if was hard to analyse himself and his own actions. He semi-frowned up at the man in question, who was too busy eyeing the ceiling and scratching his stomach and talking to notice.

''And sometime last week I found out that there's a pool going around too, about how long it'll take us to tell everyone we're dating. Gan Ning's adamant we are, but secretly – he asks me all the time, it's annoying. But is has made me think…''

''Ce, what are you on about?'' And why now? Why when I've just had a mental-breakdown in front of you?

''God…I know this is bad timing, and it's corny as hell, maybe even worse! But…I walked in tonight and found you crying your eyes out and you won't even tell me why. I'm hurt, Yu! We've known each other for years – years and years! We've been through so much it'd take me until dawn to list everything, longer! We've been neighbours and friends and brothers and… Somewhere along the lines I've come to realise I really do like having you around and – and this is not the alcohol talking; Ning drank waaay more than me – I…hell.''

Actions always speak louder than words, and in Sun Ce's case they scream volumes. So when he threw his arms back around his best friends shoulders, and rested his forehead against the damp one of Zhou Yu's, the Law student got the picture ten times over. With a quiet sigh he closed his eyes, squeezing the last of the tears away, and felt his lips quirk every so slightly.

Sun Ce's blinding grin was contagious at close range.

''…Ce, I can't believe you. Really. Of all the times.'' His throat was still clogged. He sounded awful.

''It's ok! I know I've got bad timing. But, as long as you know. Ok? And as long as you know you can talk to me about whatever, so this doesn't happen again. Alright? Cos I'm not leaving, ever! I'm gonna stay here and make sure you're ok, like you've always done! I'll let this…whatever it was, pass this time, but if it ever happens again I'll _make_ you tell me what's bothering you! I have the rights now.'' Gabble complete, he did nothing more than _beam_.

''…Ok, Ce… Thank you.''

''Good.'' Then, tentatively, which was scary in itself: ''Can I…kiss you…again?''

Zhou Yu snorted slightly, spirits raising slightly. ''So now you ask…''

''Sorry…''

''…it's ok. I think.''

''You think?'' Focusing on the here and now, and forgetting the last half and hour as best he could, the level headed Law student smiled again.

''It'll…take a while.''

''Well, considering my bad timing, that's good enough for me. We've got forever after all!'' This time it was his lips, but with new found knowledge Zhou Yu didn't mind.

Maybe this would make everything a little easier?

(Also, maybe it would explain a few of his own impulses. Like his 'Mothering Stance', like the insistences when he had to make sure Sun Ce did his work, cleaned his side of the room and made his bed at least once a week, like how he was constantly worrying whenever Sun Ce went out partying. Like how his cooking for two, which had always been good, had considerably improved. Maybe he'd known all along…?

Stupid emotion.)

* * *

Inspired by the fact that life is a bit hectic of late. And I need to WRITE something; I miss writing. Sun Ce and Zhou Yu…I always wish that they had more of a happy ending but…that's history. So instead, I gave them a happy ending, if even a small one. They really were the best of friends!

Also, this is from an AU universe that struck me one day, and has since made me happy – Dynasty Warriors at University. It just makes me laugh thinking about it…well, normally, since this one is sorta…depressive.

Yeah, I need to get writing a plot for this AU thingy, a happier one!

Thanks for reading my gabble (and this thing below it X3). And I can only apologise for Zhou Yu's OOCness; but really, even the best of us are a bit troubled, I think.


End file.
